me, myself, and melis

Well pretties, I'm least for the moment...because it's a new year and I'm starting things least until I get bored.  But I missed taking fun blog pics, and I know H missed it too so really this is all for him.  

So now that it's a new year and I'm slowly coming out of the after xmas fog that I think everyone has been in, it's time to start living with the best of intentions...which will most likely last about two weeks, if that...but I think this year is going to be different and that's because I've picked the best word for 2019...
ME!!!  That's right, this year is all about me, myself, and melis.  I talked about this a bit on insta but to sum it up last year was kind of a shit show.  Yes some great things happened but a lot of unexpected, scary, frustrating, and just plain stupid things happened as well.  And when it comes to the ones I love, I try my very best to be the supportive rock that they need, and trust me did they all need it.  And while I'm more than happy to be there for everyone, I realized towards the end of the year that I wasn't there for the one person that really mattered...myself.

Sometimes when you're always the strong one, you forget that you're allowed to not be strong.  I like being strong...I'm good at it...but with all the madness of last year being the strong one suddenly became too much.  It's not that I couldn't do it, but I didn't want to.  It was a new feeling for me to be allow myself to feel weak or vulnerable and know that it was ok to be in that space.  It's easy to put your own stuff aside to help others...and maybe I help others so I don't have to deal with my own stuff...there's a thought for therapy (which I'm going to now...stay tuned for that)...but I decided that now is the time for me to be a little selfish...well a little more selfish than normal...and use this next year to focus on me.  

And part of that is to start blogging again...and not just write about how neons are going to be big for spring, which they are, or how much I love being a dog mom, which I do, but also about real life shit.  So I hope you will follow along on this journey, and by the end of this year I hope I have found myself again...and I hope that melis is like 20 lbs lighter bc I am not loving this double chin I have developed, but that's life...and that's me right now...just me, myself, and melis.
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