Friday, July 21, 2017

life according to henri: say my name, say my name...

Hey...it's Henri...
If you are here hoping to see some outfit posts from my mom and listen to her complain yet again about summer, texas, or allergies then you should probably stop reading right now...however if you're more a fan of dogs that write blogs, and really who isn't, then you should stick around.

Now I'm sure you have so many questions right now, and I pretty sure I know that first one that instantly popped into your head.  "How is this dog so ridiculously good looking?"  It's the same question I ask myself every time my mom, let's just call her M, holds up that stupid phone to take a selfie and I see my reflection in that tiny screen.  Honestly the only reason I put up with her and "selfie time" is so I can look at myself.
Second question you're probably thinking is: "how can dogs even write a blog"...and to that I say...because I'm a human dog, duh.  Anything you can do, I can do better.  I mean, I love M with all my heart...she is my mom after all, but sometimes reading her blog gets boring...I think she's just a little too nice when she writes...she does like having a little fluff to her stories, but I'm a human dog so I can do whatever I want.  So I asked her nicely with my big brown puppy dog eyes if I could blog once a week...and then I gave her lots of snuggles and kisses and really...how could she say no to this face...so yeah, I'm a dog...who blogs...because I'm a badass who does what he wants!
Now you're also probably wondering how I got my name, but you know what I'm wondering?  Why I am called a million and one different things besides my actual name.  Why give someone a name if they're never going to be called by it?  It's like those idiots that call someone by their middle name instead of their first.  If you want that to be your name then make it your first name.  Why are humans so complicated?  And while my parents have never called me Oliver, I literally have like 17 nicknames and that list keeps growing.  
H
Baby Love
Lovey
Sweet Baby Love
Buddha 
Buddha Bear
Boots
Buddha Lovey
Wiggle Bootie
Sweet Boy
Snuggle Bugs
Babies
Cray Cray Lovies
Sweet Henri
Seriously Henri
Come on Henri
Really Dude

The last three are used most often when I'm supposed to be pooping but I'm distracted by you know, everything...but how am I supposed to really listen if I don't know what my real name is?  And apparently I was named after some fancy store in NYC that carried M's hair accessories...you may have heard of it...Henri Bendel.  So basically I was born to be a big deal.  Well, actually I don't know where I was born or what happened the first year of my life, but I do know that I ended up with the most amazing parents that let me do whatever I want because I, 
Henri Oliver, the First of His Name, The Flawless Face, King of the Southern Sky, Ruler of the Human Minds, Protector of the Dirty Sock Mountains, Eater of all the Foods, Breaker of Limits and Son to the Star Goddess M...am the shit!  


And thank you to my Auntie Betsy for capturing all of my best features, so basically all of me, for my  blog debut.  She is the best doggy photographer, although if you are one ugly mutt then I cannot guarantee that your photos will look like this.  I pretty much made her job really easy for her...






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